White Lies

We have these little sayings; adages and idioms that are intended either to appeal to the emotions of another person, or just to make ourselves feel better. They’re meant to soften the proverbial blow to the gut that life deals us. The problem is that these simple sayings are completely devoid of real meaning. They're little, harmless white lies like...

There’s no I in team...

No, but there is an M and an E in team, which is fitting… Who always ends up doing all the work? ME. If you’ve ever been part of a team where not everyone pulls their weight, you know exactly what I mean.

Waste not, want not...

My aunt takes pride in growing her own garden. The outcome is always a bounty of vegetables too great for the family to eat, thus begins the long and boring process of canning the left-overs. The problem is, no matter how many jars of squash, tomatoes, or beans we have, I still WANT some a nice steak. We should be always be thankful for the things that we have, but if we don’t want and strive for more, then things will always stay the same.

Hate to burst your bubble...

This couldn’t be a more blatant lie. If we actually hated to burst someone’s metaphorical bubble of fallacy, then we’d just keep our mouths shut and let them believe whatever falsehood we intend to correct them on. We naturally get pleasure asserting our intellectual superiority over others, it’s not harsh or hateful, just the truth.

Money can’t buy you happiness...

This is what they tell poor people to keep down a riot. Think about what makes you happy. Friends? Puppies? Cars? Vacations? Love? Family? As sad as it may be, money can buy all of those things, whether we want to acknowledge it or not.

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me...

I prefer Ellen DeGeneres’ version of this saying “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words ... words might hurt deeply, causing great emotional, mental, and psychological damage leading to a lowered self-esteem and decreased work-related efficiency.” We can put up a strong front and pretend to be unbothered by insults, but in the end, bullying hurts. And no one should ever put their pride ahead of their feelings.

Nice guys finish last...

As an extremely nice guy, I’m happy to report that this is false. Being kind to everyone creates relationships and reports with everyone and opens up opportunities all around you. I volunteered to help a friend with a 2 week program for kids, one thing led to another, now I teach the program on my own and even have my own office space. The hold-up is that nice guys often get the spotlight taken from them by pompous attention-hungry jerks. And to keep from hurting anyone’s feelings, we let it slide. But, if kindness is tempered by assertiveness then the nice guy will always come out on top.

Hard work never killed anyone...

Have you ever heard of a “dead shovel”? That’s Emergency Room slang for someone who dies while shoveling snow. Every year approximately 1000 people suffer heart attacks while shoveling snow… tell them hard work never killed anyone.

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again...

Actually, quitting is empowering, it reminds us that we have power over our own lives. If something isn’t working out, and it’s really not worth the effort of continuing, then don’t waste your time. Assert control and end it. The key to this, however, is being able to realize what is and is not worth perseverance: If you’ve failed three classes in school, get your act together, get tutoring, and get your grades up. If you've broken three clutches on manual transmission vehicles; maybe an automatic is better for you. Be logical with your choices.

I don’t care what other people think of me...

While the way you see yourself should come first and foremost, everyone cares what other people think of them. It’s not a weakness. It’s not a fault. Caring about what other people think about you is part of caring about yourself. But when it goes too far either way, it becomes a problem. If you don’t care enough what others think, it lowers your inhibitions towards life and will result in some sort of self-destructive behavior. If you care too much it can lowers your self esteem and makes you feel like you can never good enough. Balance is crucial in maintaining a healthy image of yourself.